I have seen God give me strength over the last year through Gateway’s Mercy Ministry…
By Nick Ingoldsby
God has used Gateway and the people around me, to give me and my family strength. To help you understand the whole story, let me give you a picture of where I was and where I am today. I am 24 years old with a wife and two girls. I own a business in St. Louis and another in Kansas City. When we started coming to Gateway, we were $50,000 in debt because of stupid decisions. In the two years we’ve been going to Gateway, we added another $10,000. Putting us at a total of $60,000 in debt. We were getting calls from debt collectors daily and hiding vehicles from repo people. I was working 70-100 hours a week and my wife had a full time job, as well.
Because of the hours we both worked, we rarely had time to spend as a family. This didn’t make for a very strong relationship with my wife or two girls. My wife was feeling like a single mother. And no matter how much I love my two girls, when daddy’s not around, it hurts our relationship and I know that can have long term effects on them. I felt like I was constantly struggling to have a good marriage, healthy relationship with my kids, and stable finances. This is what was on my mind 24/7. Yet, I wasn’t getting very far.
A little over 2 years ago, Gateway offered the Dave Ramsey program to help people get out of debt. Mike and Susan Stiles offered to be our financial coaches. Now at the time, I didn’t want to do this because I didn’t want anyone else’s help, someone telling me what to do, or anybody thinking that their way was better than mine. But that’s what God gave me a better half for. So my wife told me that we were doing it and signed us up. We went to the classes every week and met with the Stiles once a month. After a year of doing our finances the way the classes were showing us and following the outline that Mike and Suzi created, we paid off $25,000! This was a huge relief and it felt great!
Around this time, Ian Davis told my wife and me that the Mercy Ministry Leadership Team had been praying about who God wanted to be in the MM house, and they wanted to offer OUR family this opportunity. Now in order to do this, we would have to walk in covenant. Part of the covenant relationship meant that while MM offered time in the house and people to walk alongside us, we would need to meet with people on a regular basis. Anna and I would need to meet monthly with Meagan Farber and a mentor. I would need to meet with other business owners in the church about my business. And this is on top of the fact that we still had to meet every month with Mike and Suzi regarding finances. It was hard enough being held accountable in that one area, but now they wanted to bring people into every part of my life to hold me accountable. Once again my problem was that I didn’t want anyone else’s help. I’ve always done everything myself. I always thought asking for help was a sign of weakness. I was too prideful to ask for anyone’s help or to take any help that was offered to me. Plus I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do. I’ve always done stuff my way and I didn’t want other people thinking that their way was better than mine.
So I told Ian that I would rather not move into the house. Ian asked me to at least pray about it. Well, while I was saying no, my wife was saying yes. Over the next month or two we met with more people like Meagan, Scott Sterling, Ian Davis, Ray and Christi Valdivia, and Suzi and Mike to see what they thought about the opportunity. They ALL said that they prayed about it, and they ALL thought that God wanted us to move forward. When people that are far in their walk with God are saying this, it makes you feel like God is putting all the signs right in front of you. So, even though at this time I still didn’t want to do it, I said to myself, “It would only be for a year and a year passes fast. So for that year I would let go of the control, swallow my pride, be a turtle on the fence post, and see where these people put me.”
So we moved into the MM house, and we began to meet with Meagan. After a few meetings, I realized that it wasn’t so bad, and I actually enjoyed our meetings. It was nice to have someone to talk to about what was going on in our lives. MM set me up with Colby Lalli for my mentor. It’s been nice to have another guy I can talk to about just anything. For my business, I meet on a regular basis with Kelly Guier, Larry Thurn, and Scott Sterling. Every meeting has helped so much. We talk about our businesses: the things that they have done, things that have happened in their businesses, and the effects business can have on the family. These guys share insights that help not only in my business, but in my relationship with my family and how to have a good balance between the two –which I now see that balancing my family and business has made me much more productive in both areas.
Last summer, Ray and Christi invited us on a family vacation. I took my work with me, fully prepared to make phone calls and get some things done. But once we got down there, I remembered Kelly Guier’s advice about separating work and family time. I decided not to spend any time working or on the phone. I dedicated myself 100% to my family. When I came back, I didn’t feel behind. I felt completely recharged. I actually got more work done that first week we got back, than I would have in three weeks before. Now, when I come home from work in the evening, I am 100% with my family. On weekends, I am 100% with my family. Having quality time with my family actually recharges me and makes me more productive during the day with work. This is building strength in my family and in my business.
The funny thing is that when I meet with all of these people, it’s the smallest things that they say that have a huge impact on my thinking process. I was dreading having to meet with every single one of them, but I have ended up truly enjoying meeting and talking with ALL of these people and they have ALL made a difference in my life for the better. In fact, ALL of the turning points in my life in the last couple of years, we owe to God, for stirring the hearts of people around us to make them possible – for using them to help me be stronger…
So where I am now? Well, I don’t travel to St. Louis as often because I have hired someone dependable to oversee the business there. I am almost ready to hire another employee in KC. I have accomplished more in the last year with my business, than I did my first five years of business. Our debt has gone from $60,000.00 to under $10,000.00. I am home most nights and get to spend time with my wife and two daughters. God has given me STRENGTH. He did this by choosing to stir some people’s hearts and using other people’s gifts in our church to help us. I now have more STRENGTH than I ever did in my marriage, with my kids, concerning our finances, and in my business because God gave me enough humility to open my mind to listen to other people’s stories and advice. I, Nick Ingoldsby, am a living testimony that our God is a God who gives miraculous STRENGTH.
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