How does one explain new birth in Christ? New birth in Christ starts with an accurate account of events in our lives. A testimonial I suppose. It overwhelms me when I look back, compare, and contrast my life before and after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Hindsight is 20/20, and as far as my life and the new birth that has only come from Christ, I see oh so clearly. You see, to get an accurate picture of my life before Christ, I must take you back.
I grew up in a home where I was physically and mentally abused by my parents, as well as sexually abused by a family member at a very young age. My parents use to beat me with fishing poles, curtain rods, broom handles, or anything within reach. A few times, only after leaving bruises, my mother and stepfather resorted to using the cardboard rods off of hangers to beat me on the bottoms of my feet, so it would not leave any visible bruises. It was made very clear to me by them that I would never amount to anything in life, and that I was the ugliest kid they knew. I remember sometimes crying, wishing they would die, or someone would come and just take them away. All of this developed in me a knack for lying. A trait that would stay with me well into my late 20’s.
At the age of 13, my stepfather took his life. I remember running out and finding him laying there and being so hurt and sad. It is funny how the mind works because I was devastated that he was gone. Somewhere in my mind at 13, I loved and missed my stepdad. I guess it’s because he was the only father I knew and now he was gone.
After his death, my mother became a raging alcoholic and all of the mental and physical abuse was compounded with her alcoholism. Not to mention, I was entering the rebellious stage of my teens. At the age of 16, she and I got into an argument, and she punched me right in the face. I told her if she did it again, that I was out of there. She did. I left and never went back.
Now here is where God brought my best friend’s family to my rescue. They took me in, loved me, and raised me from that moment on. They helped build confidence and self-worth in my life. Now with my newfound confidence and self-worth, coupled with my knack for lying, I began to hang out with a rowdy group of friends. Our favorite past time was stealing. If it had worth, we would take it. We did all of this from the age of 13 to 17. At 17, we stopped because we knew that if we were caught, we could do real time in prison. We wanted no part of that.
The mentality that comes with being a thief and a liar is one of great selfishness and a sense of entitlement. This reckless thought process, along with immaturity, would lead to getting married and starting a family at the age of 19. Only to leave them to pursue years of selfish and reckless desires. I set out to chase money, women, cars, homes, and everything of this world that I thought I had to have to make me happy.
In 2006, in the middle of a godless relationship, I found myself sitting in a gymnasium at a church called Gateway. The pastor was preaching a message that was all about my life, and he was looking right at me. A few weeks passed before I went back to Gateway. Again that pastor was talking about my mess of a life, looking right at me. It was right then that God began to use this pastor to speak to me. You see, not only was the pastor talking to me and condemning me, but also he was telling me where I could go to find redemption from my past. He said to the church “if you haven’t asked Christ into your life and you want to know what that’s all about, I would love to have that conversation with you.” Sitting there, I knew something was stirring in my heart, but I could not find the strength to go have that conversation because I knew that I would have to make some big changes in my life.
One sermon in particular he said, “Sometimes doing the right thing and following Christ means we have to leave other people in our lives behind, and sometimes those people are friends, family, or even loved ones.” That message spoke to my life. God stirred in me the need to make that change: a change to cut myself free from someone in my life, make a change, and commit to follow Christ. I called that pastor, went, had that conversation, and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
Now here comes the good part, here comes the new birth. You see, God has begun a work in me that in no way I could do myself. He has shown me a new way of thinking and living, not for myself but for Him. He has led me on two mission trips to a land and a people that I have come to love. He has welcomed me into a church family that can only be described as the body of Christ. He has given me a desire to seek Him out and understand Him even more through Theology classes and whatever God based teachings that I can find. He has given me a Godly woman to be my wife. He has redeemed me and brought salvation to my life. New birth brings the understanding of my identity in Christ, and I now know who I am:
I am a damndable wretch, who has been shown mercy, love, and grace – all of which I do not deserve – in spite of a life that only deserves death. God has given me gifts of evangelism, missions, and teaching so that I can be His hands and feet and be a part of the body of Christ. Salvation and redemption have come to this life that once was dead to sin because of the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Now that is a new birth.
No comments:
Post a Comment